The language of attraction has always been a mystery for both men and women. Relationships have been built and destroyed because the sexes simply cannot get through the layers of communication nuances and wordplay. From a woman’s point of view, it is even more complex and complicated. Women have traditionally been considered the “chased” party, as men performed the chasing. But with the changing roles and dynamics in our social norms, the rules about getting yourself understood by a man are becoming more confusing than ever.
Here comes “His Secret Obsession”, a new book by author James Bauer, who also wrote, “What Men Secretly Want”. Bauer’s expertise lies in social and personal relationships and in this book, he tackles many of the questions that arise from unspoken and unexpressed emotions, especially between men and women. In this His Secret Obsession review, let’s take a look at what the book can offer, why it matters, and how it can help you open whole new avenues of communication in your relationship.
What’s in the Book?
At its core, “His Secret Obsession” is all about the male psyche – how he thinks, what he thinks, and why. Men process information differently, which explains why some women may alternately feel fascinated, mystified, flummoxed, or even annoyed. Bauer’s argument is that men act the way they act because of the way they think. Men are not only raised a certain way, but they are also expected to act and think a certain way by their environment.
Bauer supports this by presenting a number of topics that delve into male psychology. One outstanding subject is what Bauer calls “Hero Instinct”. Hero instinct refers to the natural masculine character that drives men’s natural predisposition to protect. Bauer presents a comprehensive discussion about the ways with which men exhibit this part of their nature. According to him, women have to learn how to stimulate and trigger this trait in men to build their interest and keep it. Bauer says that men have the natural urge to protect and are likely to gravitate towards the woman who needs their protection the most.
Sending the Right Signals
Communication is not just about what is said but what is not said. In real life, men and women communicate in gestures and signals more than they do with words. This is one area where most men do not excel as well as women do. Generally, men are not verbal creatures and would rather show than say. This explains that period in a relationship when the man simply starts clamming up, appearing cold and distant, uncommunicative.
According to Bauer, for a woman to break through this wall of silence, she needs to learn what to say and how to say it. In his book, James Bauer created the 12-word Secret Signal that a woman can use to speak to or send as a message to the man. According to Bauer, he created these words to trigger a signal in a man’s brain and immediately capture his attention after one of his clients experienced a problem with her significant other. The positive results from this trigger helped stimulate the man’s Hero Instinct and therein lies one of the core features of this book.
Bauer also discusses what he calls Secret Signals – a unique set of communication methods that women can use to improve communication with men. Bauer’s focus in creating these Secret Signals is to empower women to take charge and have better control over the way they reach out to their partners, thereby improving their ability to create opportunities for open discussions. Being able to communicate better, according to Bauer, is learning how to be understood better, which ultimately improves one’s connection with a partner.
The Secret Signals are meant to tap into the psyche of a man that stimulates his obsession – that strong feeling that compels a man to want something or someone. Bauer wants women to know that these signals can be learned, practiced, and applied. The book is composed of two parts which are further broken down into 17 chapters in total.
Why You Should Learn From “His Secret Obsession”
In nearly all relationships, communication is considered the most important factor that encourages couples to stay together or grow apart. Bauer recognizes this need to communicate as one of the most basic of human needs. In his book, he promotes a program that will help women improve the way they communicate so that their words and intentions are matched, and that their intentions and meanings are clear to their partners. Bauer teaches the exact actions, words, and phrases that get the most favorable results.
In this book, Bauer presents a number of techniques or Secret Signals, such as:
The Glimpse Phrase
Bauer has created a Secret Signal that allows a woman to provide the man a peek at her real personality and trigger him to want to find out more. The author considers this an opening signal that creates interest and stimulates a man’s fantasies.
The Fascination Signal
The signal that triggers deep attraction in men, one that makes him need – and not just want – a woman. It also compels a man to want to be with the woman who he knows is the right one for him.
Silent Action Signals
The Silent Action Signals work on the man’s Hero Instinct, creating a strong drive in him to do what he can to become the right man for the woman he wants. According to Bauer, this signal will compel the man to focus on the woman, regardless of where he is and what he is doing.
The IOU Signal
According to Bauer, men are guilty of selective hearing, meaning that they hear only what they want to hear. He created the IOU signal that will stimulate the man’s brain, triggering his most secret turn-ons. This signal creates unwavering trust in the woman so that the man sees her as a confidant that he can rely on with his deepest secrets.
Damsel in Distress Signal
Bauer created this signal to encourage the natural instinct of every man to protect. This signal is guaranteed to attract his undivided attention and make him become a better listener and communicator. He will interact more and participate more in conversations and activities.
The Private Island
Every woman in a loving and healthy relationship wants to be “The One”. According to Bauer, every woman has a quality that makes her alluring to a man. Some women are able to tap into this quality, which explains why men find them attractive. Some women, unfortunately, do not realize this potential at all. According to Bauer, this signal will help train the woman in using this quality to trigger a man’s “Love Instinct”. Women who learn this will be able to attract a man and sustain that attraction. It is this gut-level attraction that builds commitment in a man.
This signal creates an irresistible urge in a man, building in him a strong yearning for the woman. In his book, Bauer discusses the challenge in women whose significant other has given up on the relationship. Where communication is the problem, finding the right words to convey an intention may seem impossible, especially when one party wants the other party back. Bauer has simplified this complicated process by creating this signal, opening up a means to take back what was lost and regain the other person’s trust and affection once again.
Bauer also details what he calls the “Secret Currency” of Happy Relationships, wherein he teaches women what to use in communication to encourage a healthy exchange. He maintains that all great relationships require a stable way to communicate to succeed. Once men and women master this, they develop into better partners for one another.
Who is James Bauer?
James Bauer is a dating and relationship expert who has authored self-help books that focus on building strong and lasting connections. His training and experience has allowed him to help women all over the world to develop a fresh perspective about their relationships. Bauer has begun promoting his techniques through self-propelled courses to allow women to learn on their own, at their own pace. Bauer is also the creator of BeIrresistible.com, a website that offers free information about self-improvement and relationship advice.
Bauer’s Secret Obsession book is available for purchase for just $47. The book is available as a secure and encrypted digital download, which means that you save on the cost of shipping and handling. Transactions for purchasing the book are processed using secure third-party vendors. Bauer also offers a 60-day, 100% money-back guarantee.
What Do Readers Say?
His Secret Obsession has received many favorable reviews from readers who tout its simple yet informative content. Readers also like the comprehensive explanation that Bauer provides regarding The Hero Instinct, which is at the heart of the Secret Signals that are taught in the book. The product, which comes with its companion course, is currently receiving positive reviews on discussion groups, social media, and websites that deal with issues associated with psychology. Readers have also praised the book for providing real-life solutions to real-life problems. One reader who gave the book a five-star rating says that it helped her “understand the male psyche better” and that the information provided was better than other books on dating she has read. Another reader liked the book for its no-nonsense approach to understanding how the male mind works.
Charles Stephenson received a Masters Degree in Engineering from MIT University. Charles has been working in the Industrial 3D Printing industry for over 5 years. Charles regularly contributes content to several 3D Printing websites including Pirate3D.com.